It started with the weekend...
Friday I went to my mom's and spent the night, and most of the next day. I don't seem to be able to recall much of Saturday evening- just went home and vegged out. Sunday's service at church was a good one and to be continued this Sunday. On Sunday afternoon we were informed that Tim's boss had been killed in a car accident! TRAGIC. Along with the deep loss for his family, the office will greatly miss him, he was well loved and respected. He was only 45 and has two young girls. Sigh- sometimes I get so tired of all the loss that happens, and how quickly life can change so drastically.
Monday, my mom came over here and brought some things I forgot at her house. It worked out nicely because she was able to join me and my friends for our monthly coffee visit, then we picked up Jared and had a nice lunch at the neighborhood diner. Yesterday I slept most of the day away. Today I woke up feeling more coherence and energy than I have for awhile, so I am catching up on a bunch of things, to include my blog.
I printed out some more bookmarks for the counseling office- I am thrilled that people are snatching them up so quickly. My plan is to take some and plant them in some more places next week. I really like being able to share Christ's message and Amanda's legacy together that way.
Speaking of LEGACY...
That is what has been on my mind for the last several days. Our choices in daily life determine the legacy that we leave behind. To our family, our friends, and possibly the world. When Amanda died, I did a lot of thinking about that in ways I never had before.
I decided that I wanted to make choices based on the legacy I wanted to leave behind, rather than making choices based on what I felt I needed at any given moment. I had begun to think that way after Jesus became my Savior, but it really hit home after Amanda's death. She had left a legacy, just by being who she was and the choices she made. She did not make very many choices based on her own wants, but instead put other people and living out Christ's love first.
I think there are things in life that are worth fighting for. Worth sacrificing my own desires for.
Christ laid down His life for me, and now I am free to decide that I can lay down my life for Him.
When forgetting myself, I have always been more blessed than when I was trying to please myself. God may take me home tomorrow, or even today. If He does I hope my legacy leads people to Him.
I did a search for a verse I wanted to share and I came across this essay and want to share it here.
It is a wonderful essay about sacrifice. I was drawn to it because Amanda died on Memorial weekend, so I read it and realized it just happened to be about what I was writing about here, and what we talked about in church on Sunday. God is good.
Memorial Day: Reflections on a Life of Service
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Galatians 5: 13
This holiday weekend we celebrate something that I think is sometimes hard for many of us to comprehend: the sacrifice of soldiers' lives for the sake of our freedom. In recent years I've heard many conflicted views on this matter. But I think it would be a mistake to see these brave men and women as merely victims. While each fallen soldier has a unique story, each soldier is a hero who willingly laid down his or her life for a greater cause.
I think part of our struggle to understand the fallen soldier comes with our difficulty in accepting sacrifice, especially when a sacrifice seems so final and appears to hold no obvious reward. The idea that anyone could give up everything - for people he doesn't even know - is hard to process. We spend so much of life trying to gain, to acquire, to win. Our country is home to the American Dream, the land of opportunity. So contemplating the fallen solider can feel uncomfortable, even confusing.
I was pondering this struggle to embrace sacrifice at church. It was the Feast of Corpus Christi and our pastor was reflecting on Christ's willingness to spill His blood for our sake. Our pastor emphasized that the only appropriate response to a sacrifice of this magnitude would be to offer our lives in return. He put it in terms of worship, saying God first bowed down to us by becoming human, and now it is our turn to bow down to Him.
So often I meditate on Christ's sacrificial love, but fail to love Him sacrificially in return. I thank Him with my words, but do little to change my life. Yet this is what God desires of us. We call our soldiers "service men / women" yet that term should describe Christians as well. Just as sacrifice is required to secure our freedom as Americans, freedom does not exist independently of sacrifice in the life of the believer. Yes, the gift of faith brings us freedom - freedom from sin, freedom to be who God made us to be and to know God more deeply. But that freedom came with the price of the Cross and our gift of freedom is to be used for service.
"So the last will be first, and the first will be last" (Mt 20: 16). A friend and I have a running joke about this scripture verse. We will defer to each other in attempt to win "last place" - to secure our first place prize in heaven, of course. While our motivations here may be a bit off, I've come to think it's not a bad contest. Grow your servant's heart by striving to take last place at least once this week - even if it's as simple as being last in line at the grocery store or serving yourself last at the dinner table
Original publication date: May 26, 2008 Sarah Jennings, Crosswalk.com family Editor
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