Day 30- Here in the love of Christ I stand!

I remember thinking when Amanda died that if God would have taken both my arms and my legs it would have hurt less. And I remember thinking given the choice I would have chosen being limbless in a heartbeat.

Then one day I saw this guy. I immediately identified with him and was so blessed by his example and story.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3LFBqvvW-M


I thought, "Yes! This is what GOD can do!"

We are not alone.

Day 29

Meet people where they are at 

with a heart of love and compassion.

Remember where you came from- identify.

 Be busy! 

Be a servant to all 

 for the cause of the Gospel.

It's good to do things because you are supposed to, but

 better to have a willing heart.

 All points from our sermon today given by missionary Andy Bishop.  

From the words of the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians.

  This is how I hope to live my life and share my faith.

Out of all the people I meet in heaven I hope Paul is one of the first. I imagine him with such a humble face, and a heart made strong from suffering for the cause of true love. Afraid of nothing.

  After church today son Jared went to spend the day with son Nick at his apartment. So I went home and got lost in deposits and spreadsheets and bills and church treasurer reports! It was fun- believe it or not :) I am so thankful to have a way to serve that I enjoy so much too. I hope to do a good job.

  

Main Entry:	willingness
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	readiness
Synonyms:	alacrity, compliance, consent, eagerness, enthusiasm, zeal
Antonyms:	aversion

willingness. (n.d.). Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition. Retrieved January 30, 2011, from Thesaurus.com website:http://thesaurus.com/browse/willingness

Day 28

Saturday morning. I am sitting at my dining room table watching the birds at the feeder. Everything is covered in white, peaceful snow. I have coffee, a sweater and slippers, and a fire going to keep away the chill. This is what I love about winter. The cozy, slow solemness of it. The sky is still gray today but I woke up with more energy than usual, and I intend to make the most of it! I usually view Saturday as a good day to make a loose plan for the coming week. I say loose because you know how plans are- God might have a different one. But just in case He doesn't I do my best so the time doesn't get frittered away too awful much.
Tim happens to be out of town today and Jared has plans with a friend, so this won't be a family type Saturday. I can get all wrapped up in my scheming and nobody will miss me!
I like to make a BIG list of all the things I would like to accomplish throughout the week and I organize them according to efficiency and fit them in where it works best around the family schedules. Tim said once he wanted to do something on my list so he could be a part of something so epic! Funny guy.
I will have fun with that and some church spreadsheets. However, what I really need to do is get outside and go for a walk. Milo ( my chubby dog that lays around all day) needs it too. So I am going to shoot for that. Walking and list making with some laundry and dishes mixed in.

I am going to write to Aunt Vi today too and tell her how much I love and appreciate her and her life and example. I am pretty sure I told her before, but I forget and maybe she does too. It can't hurt to tell her again! She is really in my heart lately.

I have made up a simple little prayer that I say in the morning:

Thank you Father for another day, help me to live it YOUR way.

No matter what. If I live in a comfy house or not. If my plans work out or not. I am grateful for my life. I am grateful for Jesus.
.

Day 27

Yep I missed Day 26!!

On Day 26...
I went to see Jared's basketball game, got home around 8:30. Then we sat down and turned on the TV. We watched American Idol and my brain turned off. I completely forgot! I am not sure why that surprises me so much- I forget everything else. I did remember finally, right around 11:45 while lying in bed, but I was stuck. It was like quicksand, believe me. No getting out. I was rescued this morning from the life sucking bed by the smell of coffee and an obligation to go to school conferences.

I have now returned to the quicksand- because I like it here- and figured I better write before it's too late again!

I first sat down to reply to my emails. In one of the letters I wrote I talked about my Aunt Vi. She will be 97 in March. I realized that in February I will be 45. The next thought I had was that Aunt Vi has lived two of my lifetimes plus a few years. I can only imagine the amount of things that can happen were I to continue on for another whole lifetime. I think of all the things that have happened in my life so far. All of the changes. When I was in my twenties I could not imagine that my perspective on things would change very much but it sure has. How much will it change in the next twenty... forty? What things that seem so important now will lose their grip? What things that I take for granted will I learn to thank God for every day? I know one thing. The future has never turned out to be what I imagined it would be- so I won't even try. I will just try to appreciate each day and each gift. Another 45? I think I'm up for it. As long as I have a notepad! Oh, and coffee and a good pair of pajamas.

PS...the counseling center I gave the bookmarks to, called and asked for more!

Day 25

Soooo darn tired today. I have really dragged myself through this one. Not quite sure why- maybe just the lack of movement in general combined with the lack of sunshine.
When my energy levels are so low, I feel depressed. Or is it when I feel depressed my energy levels are so low?
I really am not sure sometimes which comes first. Sometimes depression is just an underlying feeling that I grow accustomed to and so it just feels normal.
It is just the sadness and yearning that never really goes away. I think sometimes it manifests itself in me physically and makes me feel very tired. The combination of winter weather just adds to the mix.

Lack of energy always frustrates me. One part of me has this never ending sadness that makes me tired. The other part of me has joy and plans and projects I want to carry out. If the energy is not there physically it can be really frustrating! It makes me think about people that live with physical pain every day. How do they do it? Well how do any of us do it? Life is just plain hard sometimes.
I realize though that this is just a temporary condition. It is an ebb and flow. The energy will return. Probably after I acknowledge the pain, cry for awhile, and rest. Then I will be able to get back to work!
I tell you, I have more ideas running through my brain sometimes then are really necessary!
I think I would like to start up a "sewing for service" group at church and make things like diapers and dresses for Haiti or some more of those parachutes for Columbia. I would like to invite the community to come too.

So I best go to sleep now....tomorrow is always a big day!

This dress is made from a pillowcase. You can make them for Haiti orphans.

 Here is a tutorial:   

http://freshlypicked.blogspot.com/2008/03/pillow-case-dress-tutorial.html

Day 24- Learning by doing...

There are some days that I feel at a loss for what I should write about here. If I haven't made a plan for the day, I don't feel right just writing about something little that I may have just done naturally to be loving and encouraging.
And, there are some times that I feel as though writing about what I have done has somehow taken something away from it.
My main goal in beginning this blog was to make sure I would be intentional about my days and how I spend them. They seem to pass by so quickly and it is very easy for me to just get wrapped up in myself. I was inspired by James, and Amanda's favorite poem and the other ladies blog. It all came together in a way that made sense to me.
As I follow through with writing daily, some things keep bothering me. Sometimes I don't want to write about something because the other person involved may not want me to. Other times I don't want to write because it feels as though I am boasting about something I did, even if I am not. I think that has something to do with it being an every day thing. On some days I am excited and happy to share about my experience because I think it is worth sharing. So...
I still think my resolution is a good one and I want to follow through with it. However, I think I am going to do it just a bit differently.
I will come here and write every day. I just want to write about what is on my heart. Just coming here will do the job of keeping me thinking about being intentional with my days. There will still be times that I will share about something I have done, because it may be helpful or inspire an idea for whoever might be reading. Or maybe I just want to share!
It has been six years since my dad and my Amanda died. It has been a hard road. I have been slowly beginning to join in with the world around me again. My sons, my husband, my family and friends have loved and encouraged me along. Jesus has given me joy and hope. I really want to return that each and every day. It has made all the difference. Otherwise I know exactly where I would be, because I have been there before.
I would be lost and lonely and hurt and bitter and angry and rebellious and I would not care what happened to me. THAT is why I want to share. THAT is why I want to Bedoing!
So.... stay tuned (if you are out there)... I will share my heart, my exciting days and my mundane thoughts, and I will keep the rest between me and the Lord and whoever is sent my way.
You live and you learn!

Day 23

I am out of sorts today. It has been a busy day but I keep feeling like I am forgetting something important.
Hmmm.... must not be too important, right?

I am getting ready to sit down and write an email to a woman I have not talked to for some time.It has probably been a year or more- shame on me! I just want her to know I am thinking of her and she is very dear to me.

Day 22

Today I spoke words of encouragement and love to someone that has been down a pretty rough road for awhile and is now close to reaching a major goal. Gave him a big hug too.

In church today a man from Haiti came and spoke to us. He has gone from a very poor child that used to get picked on, to an educated man of God that teaches and is a pastor. His story basically started when some missionaries from America gave him a new pair of pants. That small act of kindness changed everything for him. I was so encouraged to hear about how God will use such seemingly small things to do very big things! Of course I knew it already- but I LOVE to see the living proof!
That's my Father!

I was elected church treasurer today and I am so grateful to be trusted with this responsibility. I have had fun with spreadsheets and Quickbooks all afternoon :) I like them almost as much as making blankies!  Speaking of which- I am going to go crochet a couple of rows before turning in. 

God is so good.

 

Day 21

Today was spent finishing the quilt top from yesterday. Now I just need to do the embroidery. I decided it needs to be a tad bigger- so when the time gets closer I will put a border on it and then finish it up. Tonight I will continue to work on the crocheted baby blankie I am making for some other friends who are being blessed with a little girl very soon. In fact the due date for their baby is my birthday :)
I also just found out another friend of mine is going to be a grandma very soon! Lucky girl. And lucky me I get to spend more blogging days bedoing what I like best- making baby blankies! It just occurred to me that I could use up some scraps to make blankies for the pregnancy center. They have a program where they reward parents with things from their "shop" when they complete certain parenting classes and goals. They are always looking for blankets and things for the "shop".

Brososky News alert:

My boys all went out and worked on tearing down an old barn today. I am really excited to see how we end up using all that beautiful wood in and around our home! It is going to be ALOT of work. And first they have to relocate the BEES.... 

Wow- and that's just a small portion of the hive.
Guess they were BEEdoing too. I just had to say it :)

Day 20- Beblogging?

It is amazing that we are 20 days into the new year already.
Each day that has gone by that I have made a point of doing something for Christ, because of His love, I have felt like I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be-doing. :) 
The question in my heart today is: should I be blogging about it? Does it take something genuine out of the encouragement by sharing it this way?
I'm not sure. It has helped to keep me accountable to my resolution. I know there have been a couple of days that would have slipped by, had I not made the promise to myself to report to the blog every day.
 In that respect it has become like a job; a commitment to Christ and myself. Blogging is like my time sheet. Clocking in. Additionally, it is a way to share myself and my heart with anyone that cares to read about it. It is a way to share the journey, and from my perspective, another way to encourage someone to be-doing for Christ also! 
I guess I have answered my own question for now, and will continue to record my daily work here, in the hope that it will bring praise to God and not to me. It is because of Him that I live and breathe and feel joy and that is what I want to share!

Today I spent the day working on a baby quilt for a young lady I know who will soon be having her second child. She is just starting out with her husband and will no doubt have many challenges ahead. The quilt has the pattern of a cross in the middle and in the light colored squares I plan to embroider these words:

Jesus loves me

This I know

For the Bible

Tells me so!

Remember that song? It's all ya need to know!

Day 19

I liked yesterday's idea so much that I did some more today!

 I absolutely love the idea of the Word of God falling from the sky and then changing a life forever.