Day 58- Happy Birthday to Me

 

45!?

Today I was the one encouraged by my friends and family. First thing this morning, I received a Happy Birthday text from my niece, Madison! I received so many wishes for blessings for me and "my day", and my family spoiled me. My son Nick even remembered to give me a call! I felt very cared for today.

I have never really expected much "to do" on my birthday. I think it is like any other day. However, my friend Wendybird has taught me to make birthdays special. She throws a party for herself every year and invites everyone to come and enjoy her day with her. She gets lots of presents and enjoys the warmth and love of her friends and family. While I still like to keep my birthday low key- she taught me that it is indeed a special day and should perhaps be spent doing something special. 

It is Amanda's birthday that is the hardest day of the year for me. Not even the day of her death is as difficult, and that is hard enough.  The day we come into the world we change it forever. We grow and live, and leave marks on hearts that never go away. Every one of us.

So, today I thank God for my life and celebrate my birthday! I thank Him for the people in my life who let me know they are glad I am here too. 

Happy Birthday to Me!

Day 57

Today I spent the day working on a special gift for a friend that shares the same birthday as me- tomorrow!




My husband and son spoiled me today and did work around the house and made dinner. I plan to spend the day tomorrow hanging out with Tim while Jared is at school. Nice birthday!


 

Day 56

I am beat.
But our dream of a place downstairs in the basement for Jared to have friends over, and a place for us to house guests in, is quickly becoming a reality!
We had accumulated about $400.00 in change and gifts that we were going to apply to the basement. We knew this wouldn't go too far but it was a start, right?
Our list in order of priority looked like this:

TV
Projector
XBox fixed
Call of Duty game
Couch
Flooring
Bedroom flooring
Paint
Drywall....etc...

Well, my mom donated her old tv, we found a projector on sale for fifty bucks, Tim found a place to fix the X box real cheap, a friend gave Tim his old Call of Duty game, a beautiful couch came from heaven, and today we went and got flooring for the basement area at 41 cents a square foot. Had enough money to also buy laminate for the bedroom area. Wow!! Its so exciting how it is all coming together.
I am beat from laying all the carpet tile and moving everything around so I am going to bed now to dream of all the fun things we will do in our basement very soon!

Thank you Father!

Day 51, 52, 53, 54, 55

What a week. Ice and more ice and more snow and no power all week...



Needless to say I did not get much accomplished this week. No cleaning, no cooking, no showering (so thus I stayed away from people until Wednesday when I showered at moms), no email, no facebook. Life as usual just stops when the power goes out. It could be frustrating, but might as well just make the best of it- acceptance.

I did accomplish different kinds of things. I did get more thinking done than usual because of the lack of electronic distractions. I did realize I take so many things for granted every day. I did learn creative ways to get by without electricity. I did read more and get some rest. I did wonder at the beauty of the ice everywhere and talked with God more than usual.

This morning the heat is on, the water is running and the lights are on and I can watch the television and do the dishes and clean up the house,check facebook and email and write here in my blog... life is back to normal.

For now. This has just been another reminder that I never know what a day might bring. There are many things I have no control over that can change the course of my life, change my perspective, and change the way I spend my days. I am learning to be flexible. I am learning to be open to the possibility that when things are hard or not following my plan, that there is wisdom to be found in acceptance. I learn things in acceptance. Things I would not have learned if I was busy being miserable and complaining. Maybe that is how acceptance with JOY is possible.
Yes, I'm learning.

Day 50- Whoo hoo!

Fifty days into the new year already. Three hundred fifteen to go.

Our Italian missionary spoke at church this morning. He (Elia), also played piano and his wife (Julia) sang like a bird, and they treated us to Italian style pizza afterward. He told us about their ministry in Italy and then shared a scripture message. I think the basic message was when you fill yourself with God's Word, it will naturally flow from you, and you will always be ready to share what God has done for you and the reason for your faith.
It was a gentle reminder to me to bereading as much (or more) as I am bedoing :) Thank you Elia.
I have lately been neglecting my personal Bible reading and journaling. I will remedy that!

Came home after church and got the treasurer duties done, and then I finished little Graysen's baby blanket. Just in time, too- mama is going to be induced tomorrow morning. I am really pleased I figured out how to make the scalloped edge! Nothing can stop me now.

Before you know it my house will look like this:

Day 49

I read an article today that was inspiring to me:

http://cache.lionbrand.com/cgi-bin/lionbrand/displayCustomerProjects.fcgi?projectKey=89419&displayType=lit&utm_source=20110218_Feb18&utm_medium=Emails&utm_campaign=Weeklynewsletter&utm_content=MichelleEdwards-ValentinesAllYearRound


I would love to meet this lady she must be very sweet.
What  great idea to make homemade things and just randomly give them to people. I love it!

Day 48

Dreaming of spring...

I missed a day again! I had a very busy day yesterday. I left in the morning and worked in the school library for a couple of hours, went and got my haircut, stopped home just long enough to let the dogs out and then went to visit mom and sister. We had a nice lunch out and then my sis had to go to work- glad its not me- and so me and mom went consignment store shopping. I didn't get home 'til late and I was all tuckered out. Good day!


I woke up today with more energy than usual- spring is in the air! I am happily catching up on housework and even washing a few windows. I am seriously considering taking down all the winter decorations- snowflakes and things- but I know it is not over yet. This is just a teaser, but I will take it.  It is a nice reminder that there is hope for spring- it always comes.

Day 46

Sewing for Service met today for the first time!
There were six of us altogether and we had a very nice time and got quite a bit accomplished too. I am looking forward to this becoming a regular event.
We started on the pillowcase dresses- which are very cool.
The ladies at the yarn table had fun making hats and booties.
Jean singlehandedly cut ALOT of 6 1/2 inch squares!

Next month we will finish up a bunch of dresses and start putting baby quilts together too.

It is fun to do this as a group and to get to know each other better too. We had some good laughs! Like when Julia couldn't remember if she was knitting or crocheting and came up with a new technique called knitcheting or was that croknitting? Just remember it happened here first!

Day 45- Sing!

Do- a deer

a female deer

Ra- a drop of golden sun

Mi- a name I call myself

Fa- a long long way to run

So- a needle pulling thread

La- a note to follow so

Ti- a drink with jam and bread

and that would bring us back to do- do- do- do- do- a deer....

When you know the notes to sing
You can sing most anything! 

Now you know the notes- so sing!

Day 44- Happy Valentines Day!

God says- Be My Valentine

When life is dark and you wonder how your broken heart can still beat,
you wonder how you even breathe;
think of the great love that came to earth
and let His heart beat and break,
and breathed our air and knew our grief, our struggles.
And then He chose to bleed, to die.
He conquered death, so that one day,
trusting in Him,
we will no longer grieve, we will no longer die.

When life is dark, look at the cross and know how much you are loved.
Give your heart to Jesus.
When life is good look at the cross and know how much you are loved.
Give your heart to Jesus.

There is no greater love, no better Valentine.

Day 43

Sunday....
Today's sermon was about some of the things that can distract us from Christ. Distracted from the gospel of GRACE through Him.
Works and religiosity included. It's a distraction from the gospel to become more wrapped up in our religion than in the Love of Christ. The condition of our soul is not based on what we do, or how we do it.

It's about Him.

It's about love.

It's about mercy and grace and forgiveness that we don't deserve.

Colossians 1:13-14
For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

It's about sharing all of the above.

Day 42

I am staring at the screen trying to figure out what to say today and I am drawing a blank.

It's the end of Saturday. I actually got moving today, it warmed up enough to comfortably go for a walk. The walk made me feel pretty good, so while I had the energy I gave the dogs a bath and blow dried them and brushed them out. They were greatly loved and encouraged!  Then the bathroom needed cleaning so I did that too. Then I vacuumed. I will probably sleep well tonight- that is the most activity I have done physically for awhile.

Inside I am feeling pretty blue. My friend has lost their father and another friend has received some bad news and it has all left me feeling pretty sad. The funeral is Monday and I really dislike funerals, they completely wear me out. But it is a part of our human experience. And the reason for this blog. We can help each other through these impossible times, and God will make something good come from it all in the end.

As I write this my husband and son are watching Wipeout and laughing their heads off. What a crazy show!

Those people are gonna hurt tomorrow. But they seem to be having fun? Well, its a comical distraction ( in a tilt my head and wonder why sort of way) for the moment.

Distractions from the seriousness of life can be a good thing and the laughter of my husband and son is definitely a good thing. Personally I don't get it, but I really like hearing them laugh so hard.

Day 41

Not a lot going on today but I hope to finish the crocheted baby blanket I have been working on. The baby girl it is going to is supposed to be here VERY soon!

I am about 2/3 done, but I need to learn how to do the border too.

I have lots of projects on the burner so I better get to it!

While I am working on it I will be watching the news. President Mubarak has just resigned in Egypt and there are hundreds of thousands of people in the street celebrating. I would be very scared to be in a crowd like that. And how do they go to the bathroom? I would have to celebrate in my home! I pray for God's blessing on the country.

Day 40

When Amanda died, many people brought me chocolate chip cookies. It was pretty much all I ate for awhile. They have become special to me, and I always make them for people who are hurting now.

Some friends of mine lost their father last night in an accident. He was young still, in his 40's. I am brokenhearted for them. The death of a loved one is devastating, but I think there is an added shock when it is sudden that is so hard to deal with. Death, and the pain it brings always leaves me feeling so very helpless.

 

All I can do is make chocolate chip cookies. Let them know I am here and I love them.
And I can pray.

Day 39

Another Day...

Another Dollar

 I know, right!

I am working on church treasurer stuff today. Money in, money out..

I got to thinking about how so much we do revolves around money. It SEEMS so important. I have learned that money itself is not to be treasured, but God does want us to be good stewards of what we do have, as with all the gifts He gives us. 

Dollars come and go very easily!! Especially when I have more than enough of them. And even when I don't.

When I worked as a financial assistant I put this up on my wall to help me remember the real BOTTOM LINE:

Another Day

Another Chance to share the love of Christ!

I don't think she worried about money :)

Day 38

I had coffee with one of my dearest friends today. Usually four of us meet uptown once a month. Two of our group could not make it today, both due to health issues that have their loved ones in the hospital. Just another reminder that we never know what a day is going to bring.
As my friend and I sat and talked, we heard from our missing friends about their worries for their family members. We also ran into two women we knew that shared with us the wonderful blessings in their lives at the moment. So often in life when things are going bad and we are hurting, we think it can never change. But if there is one thing I have learned it is that things always change. Life can go from good to bad in a moment and from bad to good in a blink. Most often the changes are gradual but they still change! We can work towards change or we can sit still. Things will still change!
The way I see it, four things are certain:

We are born.
We will die.
We have the ability to make choices in between.
God wins in the end!

I choose to trust Him. I choose to live for Him. He never changes.

Day 37

I missed day 36. My only excuse is...Dramamine!

I had a very busy day. Got up early, made food for church potluck breakfast, went to breakfast, drove to moms house (1 hour drive), went to see Hairspray at theater with Jared, mom, sis and super niece Madison. After the show we went out for a fantastic dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. I had to take some Dramamine because on the ride to the theater I was in the backseat and that does bad things to my stomach.
The Dramamine worked great, but it made me a bit silly and a lot sleepy.
Not nearly as silly as the two young ones together in the back seat though! They were having a great time in their teenage world. After dinner we drove back to my moms and then Jared and I said farewell and drove home. The weather was not so great and I drove slower than usual. By the time I got home I was unable to hold my eyelids open any longer. I threw myself on the couch and Tim removed my boots and gloves. I decided it was worth the effort to make it into the bedroom and so I got up somehow and went straight to bed where my eyelids snapped tightly shut. So.. that's why no blog yesterday! It was a great time.
Yesterday morning at church breakfast I shared the plan for Sewing for Service and I think it went over well. I hope a mess of people come :) I am hoping not only church members, but anyone who wants to come will meet once a month until summer, and we will make the Columbian parachutes, the pillowcase dresses for Haiti and baby quilts for the pregnancy center. I am excited about it!
Today I printed out some more fliers about it and will put them around town tomorrow. It is a plan to get us all bedoing together!

Tonight I feel like posting another verse on facebook- one of my favorites:

John 16:33

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

 

 

 maybe the Dramamine has not completely worn off yet!

Day 35

It is snowing again! Alot!  It is really coming down. Looks like another cozy day in the house. Today Jared and I are going to go clean up and organize the basement. He has a vision of having a cool set up down there where he and friends can hang out. So although money is tight, I think we can work on it a little at a time and set some goals and dream a little!

I think even if things don't seem possible it doesn't hurt to dream a little and if you work at things a little at a time you might be surprised where you get!

What is there to lose?

Sure the dream might not come true, but I know it won't if we never work towards it!

Day 34

Today I was able to encourage my mom! I got her taxes done and she says she will probably be able to sleep at night now...

Psalm 4:8

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

I had a great time hanging out with her today. We always find so much to laugh about. Not to mention she is a great hostess that feeds me really well.
Love ya mom!
 

Day 33

Once again we had a snow day today-and that was good because we needed another day to finish up watching the Lord of the Rings! We only made it through the first two yesterday. So once again my work was on the blanket while I encouraged myself with the movie. There are so many quotes in the movie that startle my heart with their closeness. The words give form to many of the real battles and trials of life. Here is one in particular that resounds with me:

  
Frodo: "And thus it was. A fourth age of middle-earth began. And the fellowship of the ring, though eternally bound by friendship and love,was ended. Thirteen months to the day since Gandalf sent us on our long journey, we found ourselves looking upon a familiar sight. We were home. How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold. Bilbo once told me his part in this tale would end. That each of us must come and go in the telling. Bilbo's story was now over. There would be no more journeys for him, save one. My dear Sam, you cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on...."

I watch this movie once a year. Usually in the middle of winter when things are seemingly bleakest. It somehow always help to strengthen my resolve and my heart a bit. When Frodo leaves at the end, the look on his face is exactly how I picture Amanda's would be. A knowing smile and excitement for where she was going. It never fails to comfort me to see that look at the end of all the battles and the heavy burdens. It is an amazing story. I think I will get the books and read them. I never have.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q80NHbxj2v8

Day 32

Working on crocheted baby blankie and figuring out a plan for "sewing for service". While watching the Lord of the Rings movies!

The snow storm came and went. We did not lose power but we did get plenty of snow. Tim has plowed the drive three times now. Jared thought it would be a good day to watch all of the Lord of the Rings movies, and I thought that was a fabulous idea.

The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.
The Lord of the Rings
Haldir, Chapter 'Lothlórien'.

Day 31

I may not be able to post for a bit. There is a BIG winter storm coming through and we may lose power. The snow is just now beginning and it is whipping around like crazy. I will be glad when Tim is home. 

 Nicholas, my 21 year old, checked in a few minutes ago and was concerned about the birds where he works. Thousands of them stop there when they are migrating and he said they are all there right now.
What do birds do when there is a storm like this? God has built the way to survive into them. But even so, some will surely perish. I started thinking of all the homeless people!!! Where do they go when a blizzard rolls through with wind chills below zero, and threats of 15 inches or more of snow? I opened my back door for just a moment and popped my head out. I can't imagine being outside on a night like this. I was able to close my door and come back in to my nice warm house where I am baking bread with a fire going. I feel so taken care of and I pray God will care for His homeless children tonight. And His birds.

And to think that lately I have been in a Yank to find a way to buy a new washing machine (mine broke).
So much so, that I asked my mom to let me clean her house for money. Oh for Pete's sake!!! What is wrong with me??  I justified it in my mind by thinking she could use the help and she wouldn't let me do it for free if I offered... and I want to spend more time over there anyways. Seriously. I suddenly realized I trust God with the big things but often I do not, with the little things. I seem to think I have to make something happen. And, I think I need things that I really don't. I can certainly get by without a washer for awhile- that's what they make bathtubs and laundromats for! I will just wait. When I go to see my mom I want her to know that I am there because I want to be with her and no other reason. If I help her out with cleaning it should not cost her anything, even if she is willing to pay for it.
It all seems so silly when I think of it now. God has brought me through so much, and I am safe and warm tonight.

"learn to labor and to wait..." 

I need to work on that waiting part!